I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
