Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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