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R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
