You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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