Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
