we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
