Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
