dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
