i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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