We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
