I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Randomize
