Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
