i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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