And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We left the knife in your bed.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
