he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
