I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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