I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
