My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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