i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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