You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
