How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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