I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
