some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
