A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He better not be in your backpack
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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