you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
