dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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