Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
