Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
