He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
