You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So much Jack, so little girl.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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