Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
