she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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