Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
