I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
