I wanna passion pit in your ass
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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