Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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