WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
