I wish I only lived at night.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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