If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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