I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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