You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
