I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
