she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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