My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
