Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
