hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
