Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
