Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
