I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i wish my penis had a tongue
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
