these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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