so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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