last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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