it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
