Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize